Post by <Insert Name Here> on Jun 22, 2007 14:22:55 GMT -5
[The camera fades into a shot of a white '67 Chevrolet's grill. The camera rises up to show the hood with bears a red Maple Leaf. The sound kicks in, and the driver is having a bit of difficult getting it to turn over.]
*SPUTTER*
*SPUTTER*
*ROAR*
"FINALLY, eh?"
[The man gets out of the car. We see that he's dressed in a Molson Canadian t-shirt, blue jeans, and a Maple Leaf mask. It's our beloved Pierre the Masked Canuck!]
"Oh, hey! You hosers snuck up on me, eh?"
[Pierre clues in.]
"Oh, you're with GCW, eh? Um, well, I'm Pierre the Masked Canuck, and I'll be filling in for Teddy Davis this Sunday on the Open the Gate supercard, eh?"
[Pierre goes to his BBQ.]
"Sorry, eh? I'm aboot to head out to get some stuff for my dinner. As you can see, eh? I got my spatula, my bacon is frying up, I got some maple syrup to drink and I need to get my poutine. I got my favourite Molson Canadian, eh? OH! More have arrived!"
[Pierre pays the beer man and takes the 24 pack]
"Why do you wear the mask all the time, Pierre?" The beer man asks.
"TAKE OFF, eh!"
[Beer man leaves]
"Eh? He doesn't know, he's a hoser, eh. This mask keeps me warm, eh? It's cozy, too. If I didn't have it on, eh? I'd probably feel naked and I'd be all, 'Take off! eh?' and I'd really be lost, eh? I learned something in the last week, eh? I couldn't put my beer in the microwave because it will boil. A cat jumped in it, too, and it blew up. My bread went soggy, too! TAKE OFF, eh?"
[The camera man chucks a note to Pierre, who begins to read it.]
"You're here to do your GCW promo, eh? You should start doing it, eh?"
[Pierre looks confused.]
"All I know, eh. Is Dave Milan is the most serious competitor in this match. The other hosers, eh, they don't want nothing to do with me. Milan might wipe the floor with me, but that's not okay, I'm going to win this match. I have experience fighting hosers, eh. It's true eh. I was also a Mountie for several years, I stopped many crimes in my day, many historic crimes eh. You know that Al Capone guy? Oh yeah eh. I'm the one that arrested him when he tried to cross the border. The Night Stalker, they called me into America to trap him in one of my smart Canadian traps, and history is history eh. I did everything I could do, so I decided, hey why not become a professional wrestler? Well, I did, eh. And two thousand matches later, I'm in my first ladder match. I have the chance to pick up my third win! It's the GCW Evolution title on the line, eh. I'm not so sure aboot this because I'm a firm believer in the Christian faith, eh. There's no such thing as evolution so I might just rename it the GCW Big Bang Title, eh?."
[The camera man sighs and puts the camera down.]
"I'm leaving."
"OKAY, eh! I have to go pick up my poutine anyways!"
[Pierre's footsteps are heard and the roar of the Chevy follows. Pierre backs out of his driveway and carries on down the line.]
*SPUTTER*
*SPUTTER*
*ROAR*
"FINALLY, eh?"
[The man gets out of the car. We see that he's dressed in a Molson Canadian t-shirt, blue jeans, and a Maple Leaf mask. It's our beloved Pierre the Masked Canuck!]
"Oh, hey! You hosers snuck up on me, eh?"
[Pierre clues in.]
"Oh, you're with GCW, eh? Um, well, I'm Pierre the Masked Canuck, and I'll be filling in for Teddy Davis this Sunday on the Open the Gate supercard, eh?"
[Pierre goes to his BBQ.]
"Sorry, eh? I'm aboot to head out to get some stuff for my dinner. As you can see, eh? I got my spatula, my bacon is frying up, I got some maple syrup to drink and I need to get my poutine. I got my favourite Molson Canadian, eh? OH! More have arrived!"
[Pierre pays the beer man and takes the 24 pack]
"Why do you wear the mask all the time, Pierre?" The beer man asks.
"TAKE OFF, eh!"
[Beer man leaves]
"Eh? He doesn't know, he's a hoser, eh. This mask keeps me warm, eh? It's cozy, too. If I didn't have it on, eh? I'd probably feel naked and I'd be all, 'Take off! eh?' and I'd really be lost, eh? I learned something in the last week, eh? I couldn't put my beer in the microwave because it will boil. A cat jumped in it, too, and it blew up. My bread went soggy, too! TAKE OFF, eh?"
[The camera man chucks a note to Pierre, who begins to read it.]
"You're here to do your GCW promo, eh? You should start doing it, eh?"
[Pierre looks confused.]
"All I know, eh. Is Dave Milan is the most serious competitor in this match. The other hosers, eh, they don't want nothing to do with me. Milan might wipe the floor with me, but that's not okay, I'm going to win this match. I have experience fighting hosers, eh. It's true eh. I was also a Mountie for several years, I stopped many crimes in my day, many historic crimes eh. You know that Al Capone guy? Oh yeah eh. I'm the one that arrested him when he tried to cross the border. The Night Stalker, they called me into America to trap him in one of my smart Canadian traps, and history is history eh. I did everything I could do, so I decided, hey why not become a professional wrestler? Well, I did, eh. And two thousand matches later, I'm in my first ladder match. I have the chance to pick up my third win! It's the GCW Evolution title on the line, eh. I'm not so sure aboot this because I'm a firm believer in the Christian faith, eh. There's no such thing as evolution so I might just rename it the GCW Big Bang Title, eh?."
[The camera man sighs and puts the camera down.]
"I'm leaving."
"OKAY, eh! I have to go pick up my poutine anyways!"
[Pierre's footsteps are heard and the roar of the Chevy follows. Pierre backs out of his driveway and carries on down the line.]